Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep...

Wesley Sneijder

First I get left off the Ballon d'Or shortlist and now I get injured in the stupid Club World Cup? Why does the universe hate me? ... And why is this referee trying to tell me where the bathroom is? I never asked for that information. ... Maybe I was left off the Ballon d'Or shortlist so it will be a surprise when I win it. Like in professional wrestling when there's a match going on and then all of the sudden another wrestler's music starts playing and the commentator is like, "Oh my GOD! That's Sneijder's music!" and then I come in and beat everyone up and win the title. ... That would be so cool. ... If this referee keeps telling me where the bathroom is, I'm going to hit him with a chair...

Carlton Cole

GETTING DE JONG'D IS SO MUCH MORE PAINFUL THAN I EVER IMAGINED

Muteba Kidiaba

This is the best celebration ever. ... The only thing that would make it better is if I had a sound effect to go with it. ... Maybe if I said "BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP" as I did it. ... Yeah, I should do that. ... I can't believe no one else thought to celebrate goals like a dog rubbing his backside on the rug before. ... I think that makes me a genius. ... BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP. ... The only thing is that doing this makes me really tired. ... Maybe I'll take a nap after I celebrate and just hope the defenders cover for me. ... Again, super genius...

Didier Drogba

Time for the disgraces. ... First, Gomes blocked my penalty kick to keep us from beating Spurs. Absolute f***ing disgrace. ... Then, after the match Kalou said out loud that maybe Lampard should have taken it instead. That's a disrespectful f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Kalou asked me what I'm getting his cat, Katou, for Christmas even though he didn't get Kitier Katba anything last year. That's a greedy f***ing disgrace. ... Then, I dropped a candy cane on my couch and now it's all sticky in that one spot. That's an annoying f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald referees who probably plan to steal my hair while I sleep cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a... 

Photos: Reuters, AP

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