Friday, December 24, 2010

Bastian Schweinsteiger staying at Bayern for the toilets

After playing footsie with some of Europe's other top clubs, Bastian Schweinsteiger decided to remain with Bayern Munich, the club he's been with since he was 14, for another five years. Attribute that to money or a desire to collect more trophies with Bayern if you like, but the real reason is heart-warming. And bowel-comforting. 

Writes Ian Plenderleith for When Saturday Comes:

"When I arrive at the [Bayern headquarters] on the Säbener Strasse," Schweinsteiger said, "I feel right at home. I know all the employees from A to Z, and I know where the toilets are." There's definitely something to be said for this. Imagine you're a top professional player earning just under £150,000 a week (Schweini's new salary) and you come to work on a Monday morning only to find Arjen Robben standing in reception waiting for you with his hands on his hips. You can be sure he's going to demand to know why you didn't pass to him in the 67th minute on Saturday when he was free on the left. But if you know exactly where the bog is, you can hold up your hand and say "Just a second, mate, the pipes are full", and then you duck into the can before he's had the chance to waylay you. And you stay there until he's been distracted by the posse of Interpol agents looking for Franck Ribéry.

That's exactly right. A top footballer can make money and win trophies anywhere. But to know every employee -- not just from A to Q, but from A all the way to Zeke the one-eyed receptionist -- and know where to run when your insides start to rumble after eating something sent to you by a still bitter Diego Maradona, is priceless.

I mean, do you think clubs just tell you where the toilets are when you first show up? No. They don't care how desperate you are, they make you find those suckers on your own. And that's why Christian Poulsen's time at Liverpool has been so horrific thus far. 

Missi Pyle Jessica Alba Kylie Bax Diora Baird Laura Prepon

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