Robinho is claiming that he talked Kaka out of joining him at Manchester City two years ago, saying, "I told him what it was like to live in Manchester; that it is cold, it always rains and offers little." The following is a transcript of how we imagine that conversation went.
Kaka: Hello?
Robinho: Manchester will eat your babies and give you leprosy! Don't come here!
Kaka: Who is this? Robinho? Why are you calling me at 3 a.m.?
Robinho: I had to warn you before it's too late! Manchester is cold, it always rains and it offers little!
Kaka: Well, it gets cold and rains in Milan, too. I can deal with that.
Robinho: But does it rain knives in Milan?
Kaka: Of course not. Does it rain knives in Manchester?
Robinho: It might!
Kaka: I, uh, I don't think it does. I'm sorry, friend, but I am very tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?
Robinho: No! You must know how little Manchester offers!
Kaka: What do you mean?
Robinho: The entire time I've been here, I've only found one decent Rod Stewart impersonator!
Kaka: So what's the problem?
Robinho: Only one!
Kaka: How many do you need?
Robinho: At least nine.
Kaka: OK, I think -- I think we should talk about this later.
Robinho: Wait! I didn't tell you the worst part yet!
Kaka: What's the worst part?
Robinho: Sir Alex Ferguson roams the streets of the city late at night, hunting for souls to feed on so he can remain strong and powerful. Every night you hear the screams, but everyone ignores them, hoping that Ferguson finally gets his fill, praying that they won't be next. It's called "Fergie Time."
Kaka: Oh my! That's horrible!
Robinho: It is. I heard that he also sometimes has pizzas delivered to random people's houses so they have to pay for them even though they didn't order them.
Kaka: This place sound terrible! Thank you for the warning, my friend. But I, uh, I was never seriously considering going there, anyway.
Robinho: You weren't?
Kaka: Haha no.
Robinho: I hate you.
[Robinho hangs up]
Photo: Reuters
Dania Ramirez Lucy Liu LeAnn Rimes Adrianne Curry Jennifer Gimenez
No comments:
Post a Comment