Well hello there.
I see you've caught me wearing my sunglasses while I discuss massage oils with this man and his baby. The baby thinks coconut oil is best to use in romantic situations, but everyone knows that mayonnaise oil is the the most erotic. Silly baby. Ha-HA!
Anyway, I did not return from my summer break just to discuss massage oils with a baby in an ugly shirt. I came here to address the rumors of PSG buying The Berba and, of course, to seduce you with my outfit comprised solely of Manchester United branded clothing that prominently features my initials and smells like a variety of cheeses that have been submerged in sea water. You can feel yourself getting seduced, can't you? ... Well, you'll feel it soon enough. And it will feel quite itchy. Ha-HA!
As for this talk of The Berba going to Paris, I can assure you that it's not true. Though you probably think the sensuality of The Berba would be a perfect fit for a city like Paris, I'm afraid Manchester United still desperately need my services as a their leading scorer and bench sitter. Plus, I've been Berba-banned from almost every women's sauna in France, so I will most likely be staying here, in the prickly bushes outside your window. You may now celebrate. Ha-HA!
Oh-OHHH! The baby just hit me in the mouth! Oh, why did you tell him to do that? Oh, his tiny fist felt like a roll of greasy coins! That was not the sexy celebration I expected from you. I'll have my cousin Timitar Berbatov blow bubbles in our hot tub while I wait for you to make it up to me.
Join us again next time for another chapter in the life of...The Continental...