I'm Bert Tiddle and you've never heard of me. During a match against Aston Villa in 1985, I kicked Andy Gray in the head for no reason, knocking whatever sense he had right out of him. Since then I have offered many times to kick him in the head again to see if it fixes him, but he keeps refusing. Andy Gray is a numpty with a dented head.
So Andy Gray and Rico Keys spouted their man banter near cameras that they were too dumb to realize could be turned on and now people want to stone them to death in the center of London. This is fantastic. I always hated those two, so like everyone else, I hope their lives are forever ruined by these things they said. Now we just have to hope that some twunt doesn't see them shivering on the street and offer these chuckleheads new jobs after mistaking them for those hobos with commentating talents that are roaming around these days. That would be a travesty.
Sexism is stupid. I tell my 18 kids that all the time. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy, you're all idiots. Get that through your thick heads. Everyone is a moron all the time. No one is better than anyone else because everyone is constantly awful. No one knows anything. Everyone is a hypocrite and they all do disgusting things that smell horrible. Now stop breathing like a hyena so I can hear the television.
Read Bert's guest post on Run of Play and follow him on Twitter if you feel the need.
Photo: Getty Images
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