Filed under: Packers, Steelers, Super Bowl
The Terrible Towel was "invented" by Myron Cope. Of course, how someone can be credited with "inventing" an object that already exists is beyond me. If I raise a fork or a microwave above my head and then twirl it around stupidly, can I be credited with inventing the Terrible Fork or the Terrible Microwave? Evidently so ... at least in Pittsburgh. Meaning you've already learned something in this column before we finish the first paragraph. The fount of creativity in Pittsburgh? Taking something that already exists and waving it around your head. Voila, you're a brilliant inventor.
Talk to any Steelers fan for more than three minutes and they'll mention their stupid towel. The yellow towels that they twirl above their head like rhythmic gymnasts from Moldova hoping to be rescued via airlift from behind the Iron Curtain in 1985. The stupid yellow towels that block your view if you're at the game and disintegrate, slowly, into tiny pin pricks of towel dust that inevitably get lodged in your eyes until you can't really see anything at the game. When you point out how stupid the towel is, and make no mistake it's incredibly stupid, Steeler fans get emotional.
I like cheese. I'm all for expressing love for your team. I just hate to see you lose your dignity in the process.
-- David Whitley on why the Cheesehead stinks compared to the Terrible Towel
How dare you insult the towel, they say, dabbing their eyes with the towel? Yep, the towel's more important to Pittsburgh than the two other things that most characterize the city: 1. the three dirty rivers that surround the Steel City and 2. all the fans fleeing it for better places to live. (The reason people think there are so many Steeler fans in the country isn't because there are so many, it's because everyone leaves Pittsburgh the moment they have the opportunity to live anywhere else).
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