Game Point: Serena hangs out in Miami, Connors-McEnroe to play

Game Point is Busted Racquet's roundup of facts, figures and links from around the web.

Love -- Serena Williams looked relaxed this week while sunbathing with a friend in Miami. In other Serena news, she jumped back into the top 10, went to a Miami Heat game with Chris Bosh's fiancee, unsuccessfully rooted for Rafael Nadal, passed 2 million followers on Twitter and got a paper cut.

15 -- Mardy Fish moved past Andy Roddick to become the top-ranked player in the United States. Fish moved up four spots to No. 11 courtesy of his semifinal run in Miami, while Roddick dropped six spots to No. 14 after losing all the points from his win in the tournament last year.

30 -- Speaking of American tennis, Ryan Sweeting defeated the struggling Sam Querrey at the US Clay Court Championships in Houston. Querrey admitted that he "doesn't feel comfortable on clay" after the match and that it might take a couple of weeks to get used to the surface. He better hurry, the clay court season doesn't last that long.

40 -- Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe will play for the first time in a decade this summer when they face-off in a World Team Tennis match in Manhattan.

Game -- For those quick to put dirt on Roger Federer's tennis grave, Sports Illustrated's Jon Wertheim has an interesting fact in this week's mailbag column (always a must-read): "Since last July, Federer's record against players other than Murray/Djokovic/Nadal, is 52-1."

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Agudelo pulls off a Thierry Henry goal (from a bit closer range)

Since Thierry Henry and Juan Agudelo are teammates, the old story of the aging master imparting his wisdom on the promising young talent has written itself over and over again already, but now we see that it might be more than just a tired cliche.

With New York up 3-0 on DC United thanks to two goals and an assist from Hobo Beard Henry, Juan Agudelo put a whole mess of exclamation points on the game with a fantastic bit of ball control in the box that resulted in an injury time goal to make it 4-0. And if that one-footed self-volley and shoot move looks a tad familiar, then you might have seen Arsenal's match against Manchester United on September 30, 2000 when a certain teammate of Agudelo's pulled off a similar move, albeit from a bit further out...

Though Agudelo's was certainly a poor man's version of Henry's wonder goal from 11 years ago, the similarities are striking (pun intended). Still, the kid has a long, long way to go before he learns all of Thierry's tricks. Plus there's no way he can even come close to the Frenchman's beard game.

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Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep…

Bastian Schweinsteiger

This is awful. ... First this guy begged to take a picture with me in a way that was both creepy and pitiful and now he's holding the camera so only his face is framed properly and the top of my head will get cut off. ... He'll probably post it on Facebook and write a stupid caption for it like, "Here I am with my pal Schweini. We're going out for a beer later lol." ... His jacket might be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. ... If he thinks I'm smiling for this then he's as dumb as his jacket...

Raymond Domenech

Hahahaha everyone sitting on the other side of me is going to think I'm picking my nose, but I'm not. ... This must be so embarrassing for them...

Fernando Torres

Not scoring is hard and tiring. ... I think I'll take a nap in my coat now. ... Dun-da-na! It's time for another adventure of Fernandooooo Gingerbread. Dun-da-na! ... "Please, Fernando Gingerbread, you must score a goal to stop the mean old Sir Strawberrynose from eating all the treasures!" ... "But I can't! Someone has cast a spell on me and now my powers are no more!" ... "You must use your magic face sprinkles and rainbow sugar, Fernando Gingerbread! Then you can score and stop Sir Strawberrynose!" ... "OK, I'll try." ... This concludes another adventure of Fernandoooooo Gingergrbread! Dun-da-na!...

Didier Drogba

It's time for the disgraces. ... First, everyone keeps talking about Fernando Torres not scoring instead of how I am scoring. That's a unsung f***ing disgrace. ... Then, everyone keeps writing us off in the league this season even though every team is terrible and no one deserves the title. That's a confusing f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Kalou said that Kitier Katba should have a Facebook page because people like him more than me even though he's fat and might have feline diabetes. That's an insulting f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those referees who probably make ice cream out of fecal matter cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...

Photos: Reuters, Getty Images

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The uneventful life of a retired footballer

I'm Bert Tiddle and you've never heard of me. When I played for Ipswich Town in 1985, I attended a Norwich City match and started a chant about how their club is like a cross between gonorrhea and more gonorrhea. It was brilliant. But then Steve Bruce shouted at me from the pitch, telling me to shut up and everyone cheered. Steve Bruce is a numpty.

Whenever I open a paper or turn on the internet these days, if I'm not getting eye-molested by hullabaloo about Prince Billiam marrying someone who isn't my daughter, then I'm forced to read bleeding hearts moan about insensitive chants. Whether it's Munich, Hillsborough, pedophiles or some other horror, the reasonable people who are outraged by drunken idiots saying these things forget that the more outraged you get, the more drunken idiots want to say drunken idiot things. It's science.

And it's really quite easy to ignore the words of people who don't matter. Like when Migraine, one of my 18 kids, is blathering on about how his tongue hurts and I have to take him to hospital or whatever. I'm a grown man and I don't let his words get to me -- I just keep bouncing the exercise ball off his face.

Still, only stupid twunts have to resort to singing about horrors during a football match. And since they're not smart enough to think of creative insults, old Bert's come up with a few song topics that will make your opponents force their spouses to cook you breakfast in the nude. Even if they're ugly. You're welcome...

1) Compare their team to bulldog puppies. They'll quickly realize that their side, no matter how talented, has nothing on a basket full of bulldog puppies and they'll feel far worse than comparing their coach to a sex offender ever could. Plus, their players will start thinking about how much they want to buy a bulldog puppy and they'll probably lose the match. Two birds, one stone.

2) Keep chanting "We love you! We love you! We love you so much!" They'll be so confused they won't know what to respond with. Heads will explode, pants will be wet and you might even get a happy ending after the match. Maybe even without having to pay for it.

3) Just stare at them. Nothing's more frustrating than getting the silent treatment while constantly being challenged to a massive staring contest. My kids do it to me all the time. They're either possessed or they like when I blast them with the garden hose and tell them it's holy water.

4) Speak in tongues. It's horrifying. They'll probably flee the stadium before halftime. I do this when I'm at the pub and realize I've forgotten my wallet. Always gets me out of paying, but it usually gets me arrested, too. Double edged sword there.

So that's it. Bert Tiddle's genius guide to beating opposing fans without bringing up disasters and living nightmares. I'm going to wash my car.

Photo: Getty Images

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Rooney decides he really did want to leave Man Utd, admits wrong

Way back in October, Wayne Rooney halted the angry mob that was literally at his front gate and strangled a fat new deal out of Manchester United after claiming the club couldn't match his ambition and demanding a transfer. Shortly after this, it was reported that Rooney confessed to a fan that he never intended to actually leave Man United.

But now, he tweaks his story once again and makes it clear that he wasn't just angling for a new contract and that he really did have delusions that the club couldn't match his lofty ambitions. And with the Man United sitting in first place in the Premier League and likely to make an appearance in the Champions League final, Wayne can see that he was being a bit of a silly goose before.

From the Guardian:

"I made a mistake," he volunteered and, up close, you could detect he felt uncomfortable with all the self-analysis ? maybe even a little foolish. "You know, when I look back at it now, I'll say it again, how wrong was I? I'm willing to admit that. I've apologised and ever since then I have wanted to try to prove myself again to the fans. I feel I am doing that now." [...]

"I'm delighted with my form at the minute and I'm grateful to the fans for supporting me through it [his transfer demands]," he said, nursing a cup of coffee and noticeably relaxed compared with the player who had concluded that Old Trafford was a place where his career would stagnate rather than flourish. "I hope I've repaid the fans now. I certainly feel vindicated [for changing my mind]. It's going to be a great end to the season if we can get to Wembley and win a Champions League final as well as the league."

So, Wayne's playing well, he's having fun, he's admitted he was wrong and he's apologized. It's like nothing bad/disloyal/death threaty ever happened.

It's easy to have faith in the good times. And that's not only all that really matters, but it's what shows one's true character...right?

Photo: Getty Images

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John Daly says Tiger Woods cheated because he wasn’t sexually fulfilled

This could do it. We in the golf media don't know a lot of things, but we know this; if you want a story to fly, it has to include Tiger Woods, John Daly, Michelle Wie or sex. Thankfully, Wie wasn't mentioned, but this has everything else. Consider it the no-hitter of golf journalism.

Daly, who has nearly as many marriages (four) as PGA Tour wins (five), joined 790 The Zone in Atlanta to talk about his recent advice for future NFL quarterback, and former alma-mater sharer Ryan Mallett. The conversation turned to Tiger, and Daly offered up some interesting points about past discussions with Woods and what went wrong back in 2009 after he mentioned some stuff about things he would have changed about himself.

"But (Daly) told him, 'if you would have come out that night after the incident and told the world what was going on ? not listened to your agents, not listened to anybody else, just what your heart said and thought what you just told me ? this story would have ended in one day.' And (Tiger) said 'I know, I know. I just had to listen to everybody.'

... I mean, you're looking at a guy (Woods) who all the way through his college days, all there was was golf, golf, golf, golf golf. And then there was more golf. And then there was more golf. The guy never had a chance to live a life, and you know, certain things that people go through they find out they like and don't like. And as a young man or whatever, there's certain things you like and certain things you don't like. He found out late what he really liked because he was never around it. He didn't have a chance to find out what women were like and what girls were like that much until he was in his late teens, late late, almost 20. I don't think folks realize that."

This was the point that Daly�insinuated�that Tiger wasn't happy with his sex like with wife Elin, and went on to say this.

"My exes, if you look at my life, they just quit supporting me. Plus, they didn't want to have sex anymore. And when that happens ? and I've always been straight up front with every one of them ? I said 'if you're not going to give it to me, I am going to go get it somewhere else.' And that's just the way I've been whether there's a ring on my finger or not. Is that adultery? Maybe so, but from what I understand, when you're married they're supposed to give it to you."

Asked after that comment if Tiger should have gone up to the podium and said, "I'm not getting it anymore, I've had enough," Daly answered, "Exactly. That's what I did."

Obviously this an extremely personal matter, and if Tiger doesn't talk about his short game with the public he sure isn't going to bring up how the sex was with his ex-wife, but it is news to hear it come out of the mouth of someone like Daly.

Nobody really knows for sure how close Daly and Tiger have ever been, but I'm sure they have chatted at times and I'm sure personal stuff, even in jest, has been hinted about.

Also, if you're going to talk about marriage troubles with someone, it seems Daly would be the guy you'd turn to. He has been through a lot of things, so if you had any advice, even if that is how not to do it, Daly might be the one you'd want to speak with.

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2011 NHL Playoffs: Montreal Canadiens-Boston Bruins Analysis After Game 7

You can't say the Montreal Canadiens didn't try.

After going down 2-0 early in the first period on goals scored by Johnny Boychuk and Mark Recchi, the Habs battled back.  Yannick Weber scored his second goal of the series on the power play in the first stanza, while Tomas Plekanec exploited the Bruins' horrendous man-advantage and scored on a short-handed breakaway in the second.

The Bruins, however, were hungry for a game and series victory.

Chris Kelly scored midway through the third, and it looked like the Habs' fate was sealed.

That is, of course, until Patrice Bergeron took an undisciplined high-sticking penalty with less than three minutes to play.

As if trying to make amends for blown opportunities earlier in the series, the Canadiens took advantage of this one.

P.K. Subban scored the most important goal of the Canadiens' season on the power play.

The stage was set for overtime in Game 7.

I have to be hones, though: I thought the Habs were going to pull it out.

I was wrong. Nathan Horton came up huge.

In seven games, the two teams went to overtime three times, one of which ended in double OT. The Bs took every game.

They came into the series as heavy favorites, and came back from a 0-2 series deficit for the first time in 27 tries.  They deserve to be lauded for their perseverance.

But so do the Montreal Canadiens.

Without two of their top defensemen and one of their better forwards, the Habs were not given much of a shot to win the series.  But they shocked the hockey world by taking the first two games in Boston.  Then, after losing the next three games (the second and third in heartbreaking fashion), they managed to win at home—Carey Price's first victory at the Bell Centre since the 2008 postseason.

The Habs pushed the series as far as it could go, but ultimately, it wasn't enough.

Tim Thomas looked like he was saving his best for last.  He made 33 saves on the night.

And Carey Price?

Well, he was mortal.

Canadiens fans certainly realize that he was the only reason the Habs were even in the playoffs.  He stole two games for the team, four may have been too much to ask.

I think that Habs followers should all be proud of their effort and look forward to the team improving in the upcoming season.

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