Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XVII


Andrei/ey Arshavin has churned out yet another installment of his never-ending Q&A with the splendidly bizarre readers of his official website. And since it is our duty to analyze this great sociological experiment, it's time to once again get up in them guts.

1. From ryazanov16
Hello Andrey. Your last name history description begins in Warsaw. It was called Arshava by the people and this was reflected by Gogol N.V.
How do you like that route: Arshava (Polish) Orshava (Romanian) Arsava (Asia Minor) Artseynu Canaan (Palestine). The further along the route, the
more ancient the place and there is historical evidence of the presence if not
the Slavs (although the Poles can be traced to Canaan), then to the Indo-Europeans. There is also Arsania according to the Arab sources, but that's more difficult to trace.
There is evidence that Arsa was on the Kama River and their language according to
Kurbsky is the language of Vyatichi, and they came from the neighboring with Poland land.
There are so many place names your last name can originate from.
Regards, Ryazantsev.
AA:
You did a huge job. Great work. Well, honestly, I don't know the history of my last name.

And Ryazantsev starts things off by presenting way too much information for someone not planning to one day wear Andrei's skin as a leotard. Wow. I wonder if Wayne Rooney's fans devote time to researching the entire history of his surname. Probably not.

2. From lana0311
Andrey .. I live in London and my boyfriend James always roots for you!
Could you please tell him hello? Sveta
AA
: It's not difficult. Hi!

It apparently is too difficult to use his name, though.

5. From Moonray
Andrey, please tell some story (incident) from your childhood, just in a couple of words, if you can
Thank you :) N.
AA
: I was born.

Hahaha brilliant. But that was more than a couple words.

6. From Moonray
What question would you ask us?) N.
AA
: Guys, what makes you root for me?

That's it? You wouldn't do what they've done to you and ask about the macroeconomics of Honduras or if they were good at chemistry (chrome!) or if they remember the time you briefly glanced at them through a bus window? That's disappointing.

7. From Moonray
How do you like three winners of the Sochi 2014 symbol contest? N.
AA:
I am upset and disappointed about this. Because my favorite was The Dolphin on skis. And we were turned down, not chosen.

For those who haven't seen it, this is the dolphin on skis that Andrei is talking about:

Anyone surprised that he enjoys this image? I didn't think so.

8. From Moonray
Andrey, what to do when there is nothing to do at work? I need your advice. Looking forward to your reply! Thank you), Natalia.
AA
: I guess loafers are sitting on social networking sites at work.

Boom -- roasted! Do you sit on Twitter or Facebook when you're at work? Well Andrey thinks you're a loafer. And yes, this is the fourth straight question from Moonray. But there's nothing wrong with that. Non-obsessed people ask four questions in a row all the time. It's only the people who ask five straight questions that we should wonder about...

9. From Moonray
Andrey, are you going to come back to Russia after your football career is over? Natalia.
AA
: I'll be in Saint-Petersburg soon.

OK, uh, maybe it's six straight questions that should be cause for concern. But no one would ever go that far. Right? Still, maybe you shouldn't say how soon you'll be in Saint Pete, Andrei.

10. From Moonray
Andrey, I want to say thank you - thank you for who you are.
I believe in you, you'll cope with everything - with triumph and disaster (although these two impostors are just the same). Generally, you must be
happy)) I wish health to Julia, Yanochka and Artyom) Natalia)
AA:
Triumph and disaster are two identical impostors? It is better to deceive yourself
with the first one.

That's six straight questions form Moonray. Six. I think that might be a new record. And this one sounds oddly menacing. Please travel with bodyguards when you go back to Russia, Andrei. Please.

11. From Frut0Mix
Hi again! I forgot to ask ... What school did you go to? We have
several schools that "claim" that you went there. Our school is among them.
Thank you in advance for your reply =) PS: We go to School ? 473 in St. Petersburg =)
The same fan of yours ;)
AA
: 18, 37, 473. I left my mark in these three schools :)

By that he means he pissed on the walls at all three.

12. From Nkitabozhok
Hi Andrey, Do know what your new Arsenal uniform will look like?
AA
: I know, and I'll tell you. Our guest uniform next season will look like jockey's clothes.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It'll be interesting to see if Nike uses that review in their promotional materials. But, to be fair, everything Andrei wears looks to jockey's clothes.

13. From Livlib
Dear Andrey! We are the young employees of the
Chelyabinsk Children's' Library. We are working on an Internet-project
"BOOK 2, or advice from the celebrity reader", we pursue an important goal -
to draw young people's interest to reading. Therefore, your opinion is important and interesting to us. Please share your thoughts on the issues: What does
reading mean to you? What book, in your opinion, should any young person have read? Thank you for your reply.
AA:
You're doing a good thing. I love to read. Basically, I read on the road or when traveling by plane, by bus. I read a lot on holidays.
2. The ABC book.

Andrei Arshavin setting the bar high for youth literacy...with the ABC book.

15. From nikita28
Hello Andrey! I live in the city of Novokuznetsk. I am your fan and I watch
you matches in Arsenal. I also root for Arsenal))).Andrey, could you please send me your football uniform with your autograph?
Here is my E-mail: …….@yandex.ru
AA
: If I invented the procedure of sending parcels via e-mail, I would be really pleased with myself and send it to you, honestly :)

I don't think that's what nikita28 meant, Andrei. Well, I hope that's not what nikita28 meant.

16. From Arseniy2011
Hello Andrey!
Your teammate in the National side Diniyar Bilyaletdinov moved from Loco to Everton. Do you think it was worth it?
AA:
I think that if I answer this question, it will be tactless.

And if there's one thing Andrei has proven throughout this series, it's that he almost answers with tact. Unless he's asked about women in football. Or Arsenal's new away kit.

17. From trofim23
It is interesting to find out, how do like the idea of standing in the goal in some Arsenal game?
AA:
I think that even in an emergency situation, there will other Arsenal players, who will perform this mission. My turn will never come, for sure.

I wouldn't be so sure about that, Andrei.

18. From Schuraegoro
Hi Andrey,
Hi my name is Kolya, Please score a couple of goals on Sunday, when you
do it, my heart fills with joy.
AA
: I will be trying to do my best.

A couple of goals? Don't be so greedy, Kolya.

19. From Salwator
Andrey, sorry for this request, but could you give me a football with your
autograph as a present? Thanks in advance, here is my mail: …….@
mail.ru
AA:
A ball won't fit into your mailbox :)

Alright, maybe I was wrong before. Maybe Andrei's fans do think you can send tangible objects through email.

20. From 89269672623
I'm sorry for this question, I looked though your questions and answers and generally you are not very verbose. It seems like it's some answering machine .. Why?
AA:
Brevity is the soul of wit.

Pfft. No machine could come up with these answers, 89269672623. Also, your name is 89269672623. You're probably the one who is a machine.

22. From petrus28
Hello Andrey! I want to ask you a question. What team did you dream to play on when you were little?
AA
: Little? In Barcelona.

Considering the fact that he's still wearing jockey's clothes, that might be a statement of his current desires right there.

23. From Roman1
Dear Andrey! I understand that not every message is posted, but I would like
I wish you luck and success in your personal life, and in football. I sincerely
hope that soon you'll start playing just the way you were playing before and will make your fans happy. P.S. Andrey, maybe you'll look through your pictures, sitting at home with a glass of wine and watching your best football moments, especially when you were playing for our Zenit, maybe these memories and joyful moments will allow you not to concentrate on football, but on the contrary, relax and play for fun, just play for the sake of playing etc. I hope sometimes you read these messages yourself.
Regards, Roman (and we are still waiting for you in Zenit!).

AA: I'll watch these moments when I'm finished with football.

Andrei Arshavin will sleep when he's dead!

Photo: Getty Images

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