With Kaka out for two weeks with yet another injury, he recently decided to visit a local school to lift his spirits and answer the children's questions. The following is a transcript of his latest attempt to satisfy the curiousity of modern youth.
Kaka: Hello, children! I am so happy to be here with all of you today! Since I have some free time now, I would love to answer some of your questions about Real Madrid, being a footballer and anything else. So who has the first question?
Alan: Hi, Kaka. My name is Alan and I'm 10. Is Cristiano Ronaldo nice in real life?
Kaka: Yes, Cristiano is a great friend of mine and a very nice person. We have a lot of fun together and we laugh together at things that are funny. Thank you for the question, Alan! Who has another one?
Dani: Hi, Kaka. I'm Dani and I like trains. Since you're hurt so much now I think Ke$ha is more of a footballer than you are. Maybe you should make bad music instead.
Kaka: OK, uh, that's not really a question or something I want to do, but thank you for the suggestion, Dani! Does anyone have a question that is a question?
Karim: Hi, Kaka. I'm Karim and I'm 23. You say you play for Real Madrid, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen you there. Why are you lying to us?
Kaka: I -- what are you saying, Karim? I see you all the time at the training ground and in the dressing room. We talked about which formations suit you best just yesterday.
Karim: That never happened. I talked about that with a cafeteria worker. You're a liar!
Kaka: Well, I -- I'm sorry you think I'm lying Karim, but I'm sure that happened. Maybe, uh, maybe we should move to another question from someone who is under 20 years old?
Silvia: Hi, Kaka. I'm Silvia and I'm 9. My question is: Why did you make Tik Tok such an awful song? It gave me a seizure and the doctor said it was your fault.
Kaka: Oh wow -- I think you have me confused with a singer. I never made a song called Tik Tok. That's -- I'm sorry to hear that happened, though. But please tell your doctor that I had nothing to do with that.
Tuti: Hi, Kaka. I'm Tuti and I eat crackers. My dad said that if you go back to Milan before winning a trophy for Real he is going to make me watch your music video for the Tik Tok seizure song. Why do you want to see me die?
Kaka: Oh my. No. No, no, no. I don't even know -- I'm not going back -- and I didn't make that song. I don't want to give anyone seizures. Please don't think that. I don't want to do that at all. Please. Maybe we should stop soon. Does anyone have one last question about football or something nice?
[Karim throws a hardboiled egg at Kaka]
Kaka: Jesus.
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